Notes From The Dark Side

           We live in the earth, breath the air, survive with our whatever environment… However, at some stage of our life, there will always be dissatisfaction, people getting discontented with what they have, and end up thinking of flying higher and higher. At some stage, someone need to bring them back DOWN TO EARTH .This is my first blog without colour in my word’s font , because I believe no matter how colorful our life is, black and white is forever , the true colour to represent our life, simple, unattractive, not conspicuous, yet always seems so important. ( I got the inspiration of writing this piece of trash after reading a blog, don’t ask me whose blog is that…)

           Back to the topic, I do experience the stage where I get great results, let it get over my head and just thought I am the cleverest guy whenever I go, I wouldn’t deny that..but it has been a past, and past teach you a lesson, and it only makes you stronger, and I realize now that you need to learn all the time, and remain modest in every way, no matter how much success we achieved, because we may never be the BEST…

            Here is how we can describe a PSD scholarship student, hardworking, bookish, nerdy, and most important of all, extremely competitive….at least that’s how outsiders think of, and I do agree on that extremely competitive part…There is a lot of perfectionist out there, fighting for every single mark just to achieve 100 in every subject, aiming to become the best out of the best, not satisfied on what they have even they already have an A for every single subject, for them, just A is not enough, they got to be the best in everything, perfect in everything, other than that will be considered a failure,yes, I mean FAILURE…looking at students discussing question paper after exam, moaning of every point loss make me think of this, is every single point mean so much to them?

            From what I have written, obviously you will understand that I am not someone with brilliant results, not even close to brilliant perhaps, but..to me what I get is really precious, I wouldn’t trade my scores my anyone, and I am extremely happy with them, because this is what I work for and this contains all my effort in it, and I would not lose any sleep over that, not to mention envying others with far better results….The most important thing is to live your life to the fullest, enjoy everything you do, and be truthful to yourself, is this the kind of life you want? I can smile to the sky and say a loud yes, can you do that?

             This is why I would never look down on people with the so-called "bad results" and considered weak students, no hopers, whatever you would like to call them. They might not be as brilliant in study, need to copy homework from others, some burning midnight oil yet still failing their exam, skipping school, creating discipline problems or whatsoever, but let me tell you, I don’t see any difference between them and those so-called "high-achievers", just a simple reason, they are human being too, like everyone, they have a life, just a different way of living, just a different potential hidden in them, and everyone is beautiful their own way, and when you define "success" , doing well in study is just a small,small part of it, if you have,then good,congratulations, if not, SO WHAT…just get another life, yes its that SIMPLE.

           Some people do have high ambitions,it is not wrong, but keep it to yourself, be modest, do not overdo it, and when you achieve what you want, it is your personal pride, there is no need to brag about it…. because there is a lot of people around this world that is contented with having a simple life and yet can still be called SUCCESSFUL

          " There’s is a time for hate. There is a time for war, destruction and oppression. But now, more than ever, for the world, there must be A TIME TO LOVE. "  from a music legend that earn 22 Grammys and the prestigious Grammy Lifetime Award, a tireless humanitarian and champion for political and social justice, he is the great Stevie Wonder, with his latest album, A TIME TO LOVE. This sentence, is something that I would always keep in my mind, because it is completely true, especially in our world nowadays. And with his inspiring performance in American Idol result show, we can tell without doubt that he is a truly dedicated person, not only in his music, but in life (also other people’s life) and is no doubt a living legend.

His songs melted millions of hearts, inspired thousands of people to success and what he said,precisely reflected what is happening in our world now. People hating each other everywhere, merciless killing happens all the time, and all the while there seems no stopping of that, mankind forget the true meaning of love, all they know is just to protect themselves and love themselves…and finally we reach a dead end, and the only way to get ourselves out of it is to learn to love each other, and yes, its really A Time To Love.. And again he proved something, he is blind virtually since birth, but nothing stopped him from success, done his first record since ten, played instruments a lot better than many others, and most important of all..his heart is not blind!! Compared to people who hate,people who torture and people who kill, I feel he can see the world a lot more clearly…he might never know how colour is like, but deep in his heart, his life is much more colourful than many others…so for those people, its time for you to learn how to love!! get a life!!

            Finally back to American Idol, I am glad America makes a right choice in deciding its time for Melissa to go, but…I am really really shocked that Lisa is in the bottom two…I mean, what happen to you Americans, you almost just single handedly killed the most brilliant 16 year old singer in your country!! But I do have a feeling her fortune will change next week when America realize their mistake, my favorite now though to win is Catherine, who Simon says reminds him of Kelly Clarkson( one of my favorite singer) and Chris, who somehow made rock feels suddenly so exciting, good luck and I expect I real tough battle next week.

p.s. anyway can someone tell me where can i find Carrie Underwood’s Inside Your Heaven CD? Have been searching in stores but couldn’t find one..thanks

                          A smiley, this is some kind of face that we can see everywhere and everyday, well almost… But I saw something that really warm up my heart today, the journey to SPM of a girl who have elephantiasis on her face, leaving her with a bulge on the her face and one eye losing function. I am not going to further describe how she looks like because it doesn’t really matter. It wasn’t because of her amazing result either, she got just one A1, and a couple of C’s as well, but again that doesn’t matter,because as she say," my results are not really fantastic,but it exceeds my expectation."

             Expectation!! Yes it is this big word that actually matters, and believe it or not, it is something that determines whether you have the smiley on your face after getting your results or not, and not your result that determine it. And to be honest, out of all top scorers this year, she is someone who really outscore all of them, and the one that really deserves respect. Again, the most important thing, the expectation is not high, the pressure is not there, and that is why whatever she gets, the smile will never fade.

             " The growth in an unchangeable fact, the views of others are not important, what really matters is that I show who I really am through my own abilities" I couldn’t agree more,that was really well said by her, and it was not easy when you were born so, yet still face the world strongly, face all the critics and teasings with so much courage and believe in your own ability,that was just incredible!! She is someone that I really think would be successful in life, not those with 13,14 or even 15 A1s!!

                       I am not saying that those who take so much subjects and excelled in them are bad, no,not at all, all credit to them and I do respect them as well, but again, the more risk you take the more expectations you have on yourself, and I believe if something slightly gone wrong and somehow they failed to get A1 in one of the subject, that is their emotions, face of irked and frustrated, again its the expectations!! That is why someone who got one A will get a happy face and someone who miss one A get such an annoyed face. By the way, here is the advice, don’t try to act clever and take so much subjects unless you are fully confident that you can excel in all of them!! However, still well done to those who did well, but always remember, it doesn’t put you any level ahead of others…and for those who take many subjects just to prove themselves better than others or for the sake of competing and boasting, come on admit it, you are sick!!

            And for those who don’t do so well, there is no need to end your own life, its not the end of the world!! ( though I am not sure that girl did that intentionally or she just lost focus and fell ) Its your expectation, your parents expectation that you cannot get over, not your result… they is a fear that you have lost out to people, a fear that people will look down on you, a fear that you cannot compete…but what the hell those people has to do with you? I always believe that when someone worked their heart out, they will settle for any result, at least I do…you cannot hate your result because all your effort are in it! You did earn every point you get and the only way to love it is to get over the mental barrier,  the expectations, and appreciate the result you get, always bear in mind that there are lots of people who worked lots more harder than you, would love to swap results with you but they never lose hope and are still happy ( just like the girl i mentioned above), so whats so bad happening to you compared to them? Expectations will not always be fulfilled, the lower your expectation, the happier you are, coz u r contented with what you have,so that’s something we need to get rid of!!

            I got to say this same things to friends taking STPM results tomorrow, go with zero expectation, believe in your own effort and you will definitely end up having the smiley on your face, and no matter how it turns out to be, don’t ever give up, life is a journey,not a destination. The game has just started…

          There you go, finally after a grueling trials, I was back in Penang, physically and mentally exhausted, but I was expecting something when I am back..the heat, I read about how bout Penang is before I am back and said to myself , " ok, you just didn’t come back at the right time, its 37 degree Celsius man " Yeah it was true, it was almost impossible to walk under the sunlight after ten, but somehow I just have a feeling that it is a warm reception my home state have for me, and extra warm one, so I don’t really feel uncomfortable adjusting to my holiday life.

           However, I don’t know whether its a coincidence or what, weird things started to happen, not to me though,  but just about everywhere, starting with a quote from Sharon Stone saying that she would kiss about anyone to ensure peace in Middle East, and to be honest I really respect her for that and ending with a William Gallas rocket at 92 minutes to save Chelsea’s head, i was like, " wow, there is plenty of surprise today for me…" But it doesn’t just stop here, and not all surprise are pleasant one.

             As usual, I switch on the TV and watched American Idol till midnight and there is only one person I wanted to mention here, even though the Taylor Hicks Easter Bunny stuff worth a shout at too. I was really shocked Ayla got voted out, even I heard from lots of sources that she is not in the top 12, the shock is still there when I watch the show, somehow I think with her spirit she will eventually improve every week and win the competition, but that proved to be just my own naive thinking. Just one wrong song choice, and a good singer is gone that easily, and I don’t think its a bad song choice after all. Natasha Bedingfield’s Unwritten, that was a song that truly showed her personality, her journey in American Idol….Before this show she was from a well known family, scholarship in study, in the school basketball team, and she kind of know what is ahead for her in the future,but the show changes everything and I remember her saying that her future now is in the hand of God and like the song say, the rest is Unwritten.. and it was a big risk tackling song that is so hot the charts now,she earned praised from all the judges, and still couldn’t make it, I just couldn’t understand why..

          I don’t like to criticize anyone but as Simon says,every audience is a judge themselves, and I don’t think Melissa deserve to be in the top 12 just because she is a former beauty pageant, and again like what Simon says,she is just merely shouting and already booked her flight ticket home,somehow America keep her there, and again I just couldn’t get it….

          In case anyone don’t know,Ayla is just 17, and I believe she just set an example how a 17 year old should be. Just look at her gritty spirit, worked harder than anyone could imagine, taking every single piece of the judges advice and come out stronger every week. It was not an easy transition for a girl who is not used to this kind of performing, yet she rise up to the occasion and this spirit proved why she is so successful in everything in her life. What are teens now doing when we are 17? Partying, playing truance, disobeying everything parents say and act like a spoiled little brat, that’s something we should be ashamed of..

            It was tough to watch when it was announced that she was not in the tough twelve, it feels like she will collapse anytime, yet it proved how strong her personality is, and even though she is on the brink of tears, she held in and say it out strong," i will never cry"  and perform her song calmly even thought everyone can feel the shakiness in her voice, it was a bitter pill to swallow, but she is someone I truly respect and I have no doubt she could only bounce back stronger and gets better. ( To be frank I feel sad as well with Gideon’s departure,but Kevin’s "starry starry night" just melted the heart of too many young girls I guess)

            Then suddenly its commercial time and the performance of our own edition of Project Superstar appears and that was real terrible, no offense to the fans of the show but I think it would never produce a real superstar, just a star who err…shines not so brightly, and seriously I think that any of the top 12 idols would just win the competition effortlessly…By the way, that’s just a bittersweet welcome home for me I guess, but there is something that was truly great….my mom’s food