Notes From The Dark Side

It’s been really a long time since I last written a blog, its not surprising since life in IMU has been really busy that I barely had a chance to breath. But no matter how busy I am, I have a very good reason to write this blog, its a story about someone very important in my life, someone that I never had a chance to talk to ever again… The story begin like this:

Once upon a time, during world war two where citizens had to endure poverty, war, cruelty and different government policies from British and Japan, a very determined young guy had a great ambition to change his own fortune, he believe that his fate is in his hand and nothing can stop him from being successful. So he worked hard, even though he doesn’t get much pay, even though he is not educated, he didn’t give up. He is very creative as well, inventing different kind of artwork and develop great skills in it. At last his hardwork pays off, he earned enough money to open his own shop, which he make houses, cars, lanterns and lots of craft to be burned for the dead people, which is part of the chinese tradition. His business grew significantly from time to time and became one of the most famous shop in Penang making these stuff. His works are widely published in newspapers and even in TV programmes.

Now this guy had grown old, fight through lots of diseases, and finally, his body gave up and he had gone away peacefully to a better place. However during the time when he is ill, he remains positive about life, and for an 80 something year old man, he still look extremely healthy. Now you might wonder, why am I telling a story of another guy, there is only one reason, he is my grandpa and someone I love and respect the most in my life.

He is someone highly respected in my family, no matter where he goes. He is someone I look up to whenever I had problems. He took me travelling around the world since I was 3, thats why now I can proudly tell anyone that I had seen some of the most beautiful places in the world, eaten the best foods, witness the best cultures. During chinese new year he is the one who always gave me ang pow thats contain the most money. So when my mom phoned me today to tell me the news, I was stunned for a while, I was lost in words. I remember before I came back to IMU for semester two, he was ill but the situation is not critical, I went to clinics and hospitals together with him but doctors haven’t found any fatal diseases. But life is so cruel, anything can just happen, its no use regretting not spending more time with him now, but to treasure whats in front of you, maybe thats more important, I am sure he will feel the same way as I do…

I am sure he does feel the same way, wherever he is now. Its because we are really very much alike. I am very stubborn since small, stood by whatever I feel its right and never back out, I feel I get this gene from him. We doesn’t talk too much as well, people might take us as stern people, but I feel sometimes look can be deceiving, sometimes when I sit with him, even though we doesn’t talk much to each other, I can feel the warmth and I can feel us communicating in another way, its just another weird thing about us. We do go out every weekend, and when people are holding hands with their girlfriends, I am proud and contented to just hold his hand and walk along the mall. Its a shame that we couldn’t spend more time together, but I look forward to every weekend, whenever I am in Penang. He does offer to buy me everything I wished to buy, insist of treating our every dinner together, but there is always a little arguement between us coz I just will never let him pay!! We are just such stubborn people….

There is lots of things that I almost gave up doing, for example teaching in primary school, I almost quit after few days due to great pressure but few words from him inspire me to hold on and finish the job. Now that he has passed away, his spirit remains with me and I will go on living with it. Whenever he is looking at me from anywhere, I want him to be proud of me, I wanted to go on living and be strong in every aspect just like him. Its just too bad that I am not a pharmacist yet, and I couldn’t do anything to save his life, but I promise I will do whatever I can to save any other person’s life and he will forever be my inspiration.

So Grandpa, hope you rest in peace and always remember that I love you.

(note: I just scribbled this blog when my emotion is not really right, I might talk lots of crap or make lots of spelling mistakes in it, but I just say what I think, and I must say it because I want everyone to know that I have a great grandpa)